Last Day in ICU

I am currently at work. As you can see, it is not too bad. We had the most wonderful lunch. It was prepared by my friend Les. She is one of the kindest people in this world. My coworker Leslie, brought a wonderful cheesecake. We all sat and ate. (This is a uncommon occurrence if you work in a hospital) All of us oohing and ahhing over the spaghetti that I can't even put into words how yummy it is. Eva, a nurse on the night shift brought in a homemade cake that she decorated. Currently, I am smelling the icing and wanting to run my finger through it. Did I mention I am at work. I try very hard to not put my fingers in my mouth here. Even after washings it still has the alcohol foam we use in and out of every room. Not a pleasant taste I might add. I have been here for 4 years. The majority of my nursing career. I got pregnant while working here, had Tia, closed our business, and moved. I have lost some dear friends and family during this time to illness. I have watched people come close to death and miraculously survive. I have seen those who should be going home decide it was their time to "Go Home" and not step foot out of this hospital. I have been called every name in the book. including (my sis-in-laws favorite) a GD lazy no good whore. That was a fun day? I have been puked on, pooed on, peed on, bled on. I have seen heaven and hell. I have hated this place and loved it more than I could imagine all in the same breath. I have made friends that I hope I will never lose. Working in the ICU, you become family. You spend 12 hours a day with each other. You know the good and the really bad of each person. No one else can understand except for another nurse. You get frustrated when you do everything and someone still dies. You cry on the way home b/c that patient you have taken care of for the past two weeks won't be there when you get back. This day brings a rush of emotion that I was not prepared for. I have never left a job when I wasn't past the point of hating everything about it. I love Baylor Waxahachie. They honestly have the best doctors and staff. They care for their patients like family. I wish I was able to continue on here, but after much thought and prayer it is time for me to move on. I will still receive my care here, as will my family. To those who will read this from there. I love you all and you will have a place in my heart forever. Well, 3 hours to go and I will no longer be an employee in Waxahachie. Fort Worth here I come!

First Day of Preschool

We dropped Tia off at St. Matt's this morning. She was so excited to be going to school. She immediately told everyone her name and fell in love with her teacher. It helped that the teacher asked her if she wanted to paint. Tia said "YES" like are you crazy I love it! I was afraid I was going to have to leave Jason with her since he kept going back for one more look. I can't believe how quiet the house is. I get to blog without having to get up 3 times to be Mommy!

Awesome Day

Recently someone told me they didn't see how I go to work after having a baby. I had no choice. J had his own business and I was the breadwinner. It sucked to say the least. A year later we closed the business, Jason went to work for Whole Foods, it got better. I changed my hours, we both worked our butts off to save some money and we sold some land. After 11 years I got to move back home. Given I now have to work 36 hours a week, but I get to start doing what I love. I do miss some days with my girl. I lose sleep b/c I am trying too get ahead so I can make more money to hopefully work less hours as she gets older. All and all today I knew we were doing the right thing. See I feel so selfish sometimes. If we had stayed in Ennis, I could probably stay home or at least work a day a week. I hated that house. To the point I would not invite others over due to I HATED that house. I have a house I am now proud of and a place I love to call home. Jason and I talk about how this truly feels like home. The 11 years we have been together, we have never been home. Now we are. Today, my girl, my beautiful Tia Grace, played in our yard for 2 hours. Running and playing and driving her Barbie car. Completely happy in her "Backyardigans" I am jealous of those who get to be there every day for every second. Please know I never judge any of you. Someday I will be at every game and every play, but today I have to miss some moments and relish in the ones I get like today watching Jason chase Tia around the yard trying to keep her out of the trees. :) (and know we made the right choice)

Blogging

Ok so I really am trying to do all of this... AARGH! I feel like Charlie Brown when Lucy pulls the football away. Just when I think I have it down, something moves. Bare with me while I work on the site. Laura, you may receive frustrated phone calls. I do most of this on my mini laptop, which is great for school, but we have issues when I try to do things that require patience. If my laptop survives the process of setting this up, then I will be happy. Stay tuned I should get this moving better in the next week.
Thanks Laura for the hints. Keep em coming.
C-